When it comes to relationships there is no question that men and women live by different codes. Everyone has their different standard of what is acceptable and what is not, what you can forgive and what you can move past. However Cheating is one in which there seems to be some discrepancies. There are many people that say that “cheating” is not the correct term to label unfaithfulness in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation, ie. NOT MARRIED. It has often been stated that boyfriend/girlfriend is not recognized on a W2 or by God in the bible, and will argue that interacting with an outside person on an intimate level whether emotionally or physically is merely just breaking a disgreement, a promise. So for the sake of this entry, lets ignore the term cheating and just understand that I’m speaking directly on being “dishonest” to someone that you claimed you’d be honest to.
I do not condone being dishonest, period. What I find intersting that nowadays in particular I have heard from many men that “if you think your man isn’t or hasn’t cheated on you at least once, you are in denial”. Is this true? Is it not possible that there is a man out there that will be true to the commitment that he made. I had a conversation with a friend of mine today and he is in a relationship with a woman that he loves and has been dating her for over 3 years, however it is now long distance so in order to deal with the situation he fills it with other women. Naturally I gave him a piece of my mind, because I think the whole situation is ultra shady. How can you say you love someone but yet are behaving in ways that could break their heart? The other piece of this however is that she has “confirmed” that he has been untrue, but yet she remains….so now whose fault does this actually become? Here is my thing, there is nothing wrong with being single, there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. The problem is when you are acting single when you are actually in a relationship, its not quite fair. If you want to sow your oats, go right on ahead, you can have as many women or as many men as you want. Spend your time wherever with whomever, cest la vie. But if you have said with your lips and expect the other person to believe with their heart, that its just you and them against the world, until you make an agreement to end it, why do the opposite when they can’t see you. Is there any guilt? If there isn’t perhaps you need to rethink your being in a relationship.
The double standard: Why is that when men cheat the woman almost 90% of the time forgives him and takes him back, but even if the man suspects that she has cheated its curtains for her with no return? I have polled the audience and for some reason men are not able to accept their female in the arms of another man. However they are so quick to jump into bed with another woman who is not their girlfriend/wife. Are women just more forgiving? Or are women just more desperate and dont think there is anything better out there than what they have? So as I was talking to my friend I did let him in on a little secret. The secret is the following if a woman has caught her man cheating there is a HIGH chance that she has now welcomed into her life an equivalent. Now women don’t always cheat physically, but even if she’s entertaining a gentleman for dinner and a movie, that is cheating if she is in a relationship. The funny thing is stats say that women actually cheat better than men. Meaning that if she was to cheat she’d cover her tracks so well that he’d never know. WE all know that if her boyfriend/husband was to find this out, he would lose his hair and his mind. Even a simple text message or phone call with another man that isn’t him, would drive him insane. As I was telling my friend this I heard the seeds of doubt planting in his head, I could hear his voice start raising an octive, and him start to get a little angry and concerned at the very THOUGHT of this being a possibility. I just began to laugh, because even if its not happening it was good that for a moment he could feel like maybe she does.
Why is this the double standard? Why is it okay to say one thing and do another? Who is the real problem, the offender or the victim? Because sometimes there are repeat offenders and repeat victims, someone somewhere has to draw the line. I know that we aren’t perfect, nor am I close. My heart still believes that there is someone out there that can fight temptation, and they fight it because they love their mates smile and never want to do anything to take it away. They fight it because they have honor within themselves and want to be true to their words/their heart.